In it, Dr. Sadaqat Ali has described the importance of the drug addict ‘s family in treatment , and their important steps in a very good way.
They say: To bring change in any institution or to bring change in a country or to bring change in the life of someone who is addicted to drugs, you have to provide leadership. It has to provide guidance. In the same way, when a loved one is suffering from addiction or alcoholism at home, he also needs guidance. which the household provides. For this, it is necessary that the leadership is genuine and authentic. Leadership can be provided in both good and bad ways but its principles remain almost the same. For example, the CEO of any organization provides leadership to his subordinates, so does someone outside If there is a group of robbers, it will also have a leader who will provide leadership to his group. Whenever a leader provides leadership, it is very important to be authentic, there should be no contradiction between what he says and what he does. It doesn’t mean that he should make statements, maybe his words are wrong, but whatever his words are, his action should be in the same line. If someone says negative things, then his actions should also go towards the same, these are the signs of leadership. That’s why, out of all the people who do wrong and right things, some people succeed and some fail.
A loved one in Abraham Maslow ‘s house became a victim of addiction and for a few years he smuggled drugs and secretly continued to use drugs until his family did not know for a long time. And then one day, his fortune fell and his family found out that he was taking drugs, his situation was very bad, his business was destroyed, his grades were low. And after hearing this, the doomsday will pass on the family. And two kinds of emotions arise in their family, the first is grief and the second is anger. And when we are sad and angry, our mind is our intelligence Not all work very well. And we feel like we’re going to get it back on track. We feel very energized. And on the other hand, we also feel a lot of shame in ourselves. We think that if we tell someone, it is a shame. We will bring it to the right path ourselves. And when he talks to his loved one on this subject, he expresses good intentions. So the family gets very happy and gets their hopes up but as soon as he breaks all these promises that are meant to be broken. So the family members get very angry and their morale is crushed and they say a lot of bad things about him and some things come out of their mouths which they later feel a little sad about. They also pay some price for it later. And this series continues.
There are some authentic behaviors that are globally recognized authentic behaviors, which we also call best practices. They are repeated again and again in different countries of the world and they are then tested in terms of success and it is seen that certain behaviors always give hundred percent results and these behaviors are found in every field.
For example, the same way as assistants are put in the heart, the same method is used all over the world through which bypasses are also done and stents are also put in the heart, that is, it is a best practice. Which is done in the same way all over the world.
Best practices in recovery from addiction and alcoholism have also emerged, and among the most authoritative behaviors that families are told to adopt, the first behavior is to tell the family that the patient is in control of his or her addiction. Negative consequences should be borne by oneself. It should never happen that the patient continues to enjoy the pleasures of addiction, but his family bears the negative consequences. Because in this way the patient will never know that the addiction he does is actually a bad thing. And if the family does not adopt this authentic attitude, it is very difficult for the patient to understand that the harms of the drug he uses are very high.
Another best practice is that wherever you see something wrong, raise it in a proper forum . This does not mean that you defame your patient, but also get rid of the fear that he will have a bad name, because he has to have a bad name and it has to be due to his own actions. Do not give bad name to anyone and do not protect anyone from infamy because you should let your patient bear the natural consequences of drug use. Because if someone has to suffer from the use of drugs, then it is the person who has enjoyed it so that he can be convinced that this disease is not only fun but also has a lot of pains and he has to use these two scales of scales. Must get a chance to see that if there is fun in this disease, the pain is also more.
For example, there is no doubt that if a drug addict comes home at night drunk and collapses in the bathroom and is also vomiting, then in the family his mother, his sisters or His wife could not bear to see him in this condition and they not only cleaned the mess but also put him to bed in clean clothes and put him to sleep. And when he wakes up the next day, he doesn’t remember anything from the past, in what state he fell and how he got to his bed. In this situation, how can the patient be expected to change his behavior or repent of what he did. But on the contrary, if he is allowed to suffer the consequences of his actions and if he is not supported unnecessarily, there are chances that he will regret his actions. The best case scenario is that as soon as you intoxicate it Awareness will be created that he is moving towards destruction, the sooner he wants to come into treatment and the better the results will be.
The family defaulter stance is assumed because the patient is fighting a battle in which he uses four tactics to make the family perceive themselves as defaulters.
It’s all your fault, you didn’t love me as a child, you abused me. My siblings have been given this and that luxury and I did not get these things on such and such occasion, so you are actually to blame. And when he repeatedly talks to the family, the family feels guilty.
The second herb used by the patient is that I was left behind in Bechara, my siblings were educated. People of my age are fathers of two children, but I am not married yet. And the family goes into guilt because of this, perhaps because of our ignorance, it could not read and write. In the case of Abbas, the patient’s appearance and clothes are damaged due to his own disease, which is the disease of addiction, and the family members think that he is suffering because of our mistake.
The thing that he does is threats, he threatens his family on every small and big issue that if he does this, if he tries to close my gurkha trap, then see what I do, I will leave the house or I will leave my house. I will not harm you. He shows a cut on his arm, by causing minor damage to himself, to show that if he does this to me or if something I want is not taken away from me, then I will harm myself. And then after applying so much kachoku he puts the salve and says let me tell you I have decided that I will quit drugs soon, and suddenly the stars start shining before the eyes of the family and they say happily. Look, he has decided that he will stop drinking. He has said the thing with which our wishes were connected. At the same time, he starts a request program that he will give up the drug if he sees it, but for now, give him 25000 rupees. And the family members also fulfill his request without being overwhelmed by such a happy moment.
The fourth way is that the patients mold their own family members into their mold by taking drugs through them. And then it happens that the patient continues to take drugs at home and he asks the family members to give me the fixed amount of his choice with his own hands. And in this way, I will get drunk in front of you at home and I don’t even have to go out. And most of the time family members are ready to accept this because of their innocence and the matter keeps getting worse.
These are some of the behaviors that parents need to understand, if they have such a problem and feel hesitant to go to a psychiatrist right away, that’s the benefit of living in the 21st century, isn’t it? Instead of crying in your loneliness, if you write your problem on Google, then a place of information will populate in front of you and you will start to see the light on the other side of the tunnel, you will be optimistic. The main reason is that you want to bring a positive change in his life and for that you don’t need to worry but you need to take some strong steps.
Written by: Hafsa Shahid Clinical Psychologist
Thoughts: Dr Sadaqat Ali